Love, The beautiful human feeling. The criminal. The king who ruled. The abandoned. The victim. The slaughtered. The fallen.
“She hardly ever thought of him. He had worn a place for himself in some corner of her heart, as a sea shell, always boring against the rock, might do. The making of the place had been her pain. But now the shell was safely in the rock. It was lodged, and ground no longer.” ~ T.H. White, The Once and Future King
It’s bliss sometimes comes with a great cost. Love is known for letting us lost somewhere between life and death. It makes us travel beyond our universe and comeback with new personalities, new dimensions and hearts. It unlocks the potential of the inner soul, usually if it didn’t destroy it. It can turn us into something extremely creative or devastated depressed being.
Love when lost can be a PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), an incident in your life that you will strive to cope. Something you have to accept and live with. Something that lets your heart give birth to the real you. It’s positive psychology (if you look at it from a positive view). You don’t need a cure because it’s not an illness. You just need to accept it. It will unfold its positive side. If you decided to fight it back, then you will drown deep.
“The inability of the unrequited lover to express and fulfill emotional needs may lead to feelings such as depression, low self-esteem, anxiety and rapid mood swings between depression and euphoria.”~ Goleman, Daniel (1993-02-09)
Lots of people fall in love. Sometimes one-sided love, but very less feel unrequited love. In fact unrequited love is the evolved form of one-sided love. The ultimate level of it. Unrequited love is unconditional. One-sided love is always conditional. They share some of negatives but the cause is totally different. Unrequited love can only happen to kind and honest people. People who have no experience in love games. They never realize what is happening till they fall head over heels. Their simple nature let them give without expecting anything in return. To feel satisfied without taking anything back even a look or a smile, because their love object is happy. That love they carry is not possessive or demanding. It gives freedom, and then delights in the growth of the other person. That why I love to call it always real, because it’s the perfect form of love but from one side.
The people who have mental negatives (ex: possessiveness, extreme jealousy, lust, unfaithful, fake pride … etc) can’t reach to this level of love, because these negatives will kill love in early stage when they can’t get what they want.
Unrequited love is always born in the shadows. You should fear things that are born in the shadows, they never meant to see the light, and when they do and survive nothing can kill them. One sided love is just a plant that will die with time.
The people who are so sensitive are the people who love. Some of them get lucky and that love object actually turns to love them back, but most of them are not. They fear rejection. They don’t want to lose their beloved.
“Because, if you could love someone, and keep loving them, without being loved back . . . then that love had to be real. It hurt too much to be anything else.” ~ Sarah Cross, Kill Me Softly
In a relationship
One of the partners loses the ability to love. The other will stay as the first day. Very common case among the people these days (unfortunately). That feeling that makes you die every second when your partner is not in love with you anymore.
Love is a flower, it needs continues care to nourish and keep its fragrance. It can fold its petals sometimes because of cold winter, but when you take good care of it, it will always blossom again when the sun shines, better than before. If you leave it without care, it will wither and eventually die.
“A person doesn’t know true hurt and suffering until they’ve felt the pain of falling in love with someone whose affections lie elsewhere.” ~ Rose Gordon, Her Imperfect Groom
Illusions of love
The illusion of love. It gives the situation some taste of drama, but it’s not real. Love has many forms (even fake forms) and levels. It can be your ultimate deception and doom. If you can in any moment “unlove” that person, then it’s not real. If you are blind of your beloved flaws, it’s not real. If you can’t accept him the way he is and your soul demands control, it’s not love. If you don’t know the person (the real one, not some image you already projected in your mind), it’s not love. If what triggers your thinking about him are physical things (lust), it’s not love. The main things that defines love are that you are aware of your lover flaws, mistakes and weaknesses, yet you still love him/her and accept him/her they way he/she is. You know that you can’t be with him at this time, not after a year or ten years or maybe forever, but you still love him for no reason. You know he never returns any single drop of love to you, but you keep showering him with love. You may need to sacrifice your own heart for him and you do it smiling and happy. You know he might love someone else, and he will be happy and live a peaceful life with his mate. You will feel happy for that. What matters in the end is your beloved heart. That’s real!
You may shed some tears, but you will be so thankful that you are what you are now just because you know what love feels like. It’s said that the person who doesn’t return your love back he actually gives you back something that has the same value of love you have for him. What is the value of your love, just leave it for life and time to unfold.
“Why then, O brawling love! O loving hate!
O anything, of nothing first create!
O heavy lightness, serious vanity,
Misshapen chaos of well-seeming forms,
Feather of lead, bright smoke, cold fire, sick health,
Still-waking sleep, that is not what it is!
This love feel I, that feel no love in this.” ~ William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet